Male. I have had my share of women think I am "too old" for them. While there are always exceptions to the rule, research has shown that certain age gaps are more likely to end in tears. But people can get pretty hung up on the topic of age once they find out that woman is 5 or even 10 years younger than you. Age gap relationships. Love can be fickle, and we don’t always fall for the right … share. Due to the sheer scale of this comment community, we are not able to give each post the same level of attention, but we have preserved this area in the interests of open debate. Would you date someone 20 years older I'm 17, she's 15, should I go for it? “If I was 20 years older than my wife, nobody would think for a single second that we couldn’t be legitimately together,“ he told Le Parisien. So, just how big is too big of an age difference? It was ultimately the right call, I felt, and experts seem to agree. Please be respectful when making a comment and adhere to our Community Guidelines. And My Mums Friend Is also 10 Years Younger then her husband and there still together. You can find our Community Guidelines in full here. Would he be appalled by my tiny studio apartment, which I could barely afford? The late Anthony Quinn was 81 when he impregnated a 19-year-old. Then I had a very serious relationship with a 37 year old when I was 21. But at the same time, I still keep an open mind—a big age gap doesn't have to be a nonstarter. But I can understand your parents concerns. 12 years is no big deal. “The heart wants what to heart wants” and “age is just a number” are well-versed cliché’s - and you just can’t help who you fall head over heels for. Yes, it's usually too much of a difference. What It’s Really Like to Cheat and Be Cheated On, According to 10 Women. “Men should date older, and women should be OK experimenting with dating younger. Throw out the obvious examples as outliers. He was 38 and I was 20. reply report. A 10-year difference is 39 percent, and a 20-year age gap has a … Female. After analysing 3,000 people, it found that couples with a five-year age gap are 18 per cent more likely to split up than those of the same age. To revisit this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories. Thirty-eight. It allows our most engaged readers to debate the big issues, share their own experiences, discuss real-world solutions, and more. Since dating the lawyer, I’ve capped my ideal man at about five to seven years older than me, especially on dating apps, where you can filter out those in a specific age group. “So I know what you’re thinking,” he said, upon returning. After analysing 3,000 people, it found that couples with a five-year age gap are 18 per cent more likely to split up than those of the same age. Is it wrong? My fiance is 11 years older than me, so to answer your question, no 10 years is not too much! Nick and Priyanka make an 11-year age gap look so easy…. “The unhealthy individual either has a type that is too specific and narrow—'I want someone between 30 and 35 who loves the outdoors, is really close to his parents and siblings'—or, conversely, too broad and vague—'I just want someone nice,'” Meyers says. 58. And with a 13-year age gap - Jen's 24, Chris is 37 - can this really work long-term? but if a 15 year old is dating a 25 year old, then it gets creepy. It's Not So Different from a Traditional Relationship"Jake and I have been together for over 21 years. According to a study conducted by Emory University in Atlanta, the bigger the difference the bigger the chance of separation. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Condé Nast. age families work. distance also will not make a difference … Want an ad-free experience?Subscribe to Independent Premium. But 10 years doesn't seem as big of a difference as 15-20 years when it comes to maturity and energy levels, so I'd say, if you're really interested in each other, go for it. 10 years younger and other person was way too immature. 14 seems too young to be dating, no matter the age of the guy, and when one is that young the age difference is more important. Say a person who's 30 is married to a 40 year old, not really a big deal, though a 10 year age gap. if he makes you happy and you get along well then go for it. The truth is that age is not just a number, says Seth Meyers, Ph.D., a psychologist and author of Overcome Relationship Repetition Syndrome and Find the Love You Deserve. We seem great together, but I am concerned about the age difference. Couples with a big age difference need to think things through or risk finding themselves at conflicting stages in their relationship. Molly_Moo. But it depends on the two people and their maturity levels. You can also choose to be emailed when someone replies to your comment. Age difference… too much? Interestingly, that figure rose to 39 per cent for couples with a 10-year age gap and a shocking 95 per cent for those with a 20-year age gao. trust me. Is this old??? To revisit this article, select My⁠ ⁠Account, then View saved stories. Similarity predicts relationship satisfaction in long-term relationships (Amodio … and we barely had anything in common. Contrary to popular belief, researchers believe that the sweet spot lies in just a one-year gap between spouses who have a much smaller chance of separation at just 3 per cent. Start your Independent Premium subscription today. 4 years younger and other person was way too immature. I’m a senior, he’s a freshman. A relationship age gap bigger than 10 years often comes with its own set of issues. For rule-related involvement (relationships), 60-year-old men are stating that the minimum acceptable age is around 40, which does map much more closely to the rule’s predictions. A week later, somewhere between one and four glasses of wine, he told me I looked “quite young” and asked how old I was. 10 years older and other person was more mature than I was, he had problems with ME. Close. Think of 10 years as a general guideline, but be open to other ages as well—and don’t limit yourself to dating only someone older. Is a 10 year age difference between the guy and girl (guy 10 years older than girl) too much for a serious relationship to work? If an older man is seeking a young woman just to re-assure himself that he is still sexually appealing, or if a younger man is dating an older woman just because it’s his way of seeking security, then the relationship is doomed from the very beginning. Some relationships with age gaps really flourish. It really depends on the woman. At what point does the age difference become scandalous? Let’s take for example the age gap between someone born on April 17 1990 and someone born on August 29 1994. But even adults are often not close friends with their siblings, depending on their personalities. Know When the Difference Is Too Large. He was closer to 40 than I was to 30, and I felt like he’d inevitably want marriage and children much sooner than I would. I once thought I'd fallen in love with an adorable lawyer who started chatting with me while we waited at a crosswalk in Manhattan. They will love each other, but they probably won't be close friends, until possibly they are adults. you have to be 18 in most places before you can do anything with anyone more than (i think) 6 years older than yourself. Case in point; the unwarranted furore surrounding Emmanuel Macron, 39, – the newly-elected President of France – and his wife Brigitte Trogneux, 64. 4 Women Share What It’s Like to Live Without a Sex Drive, Overcome Relationship Repetition Syndrome and Find the Love You Deserve. You just can’t help who you fall head over heels for, {{#verifyErrors}} {{message}} {{/verifyErrors}} {{^verifyErrors}} {{message}} {{/verifyErrors}}, The cartoons that perfectly sum up relationships, This is the ideal age gap for a relationship that lasts, Emmanuel Macron blames 'misogyny' for obsession with older wife, Four ways getting married changes your relationship, You may not agree with our views, or other users’, but please respond to them respectfully, Swearing, personal abuse, racism, sexism, homophobia and other discriminatory or inciteful language is not acceptable, Do not impersonate other users or reveal private information about third parties, We reserve the right to delete inappropriate posts and ban offending users without notification. And we should all be more open-minded.”, © 2020 Condé Nast. I’m 18, he’s 15. 10 years is too much for a 16 year old. Studies have found partners with more than a ten-year gap in age experience social disapproval. is 17 years too big of an age difference to make it a lifetime with someone? His career and financial situations were a far cry from mine, and the idea of things getting serious felt rushed and scary to me. Independent Premium Comments can be posted by members of our membership scheme, Independent Premium. Should I go uni now or next year? OK, but Seriously, How Long Does It Take to Get Over a Breakup? but right now. So, I just got out of a relationship and am new to the dating world. “It might be hard to relate to each other’s peer groups too.”. Is it an unreal expectation for a late-30s guy to have a serious relationship with a late-20s girl? Person 2 is older than Person 1 with 4 years, 4 months, 12 days. Instead, be realistic about what you want in someone, not what you want from their age. 10 years younger and other person was way too immature. 8 years ago. ? 20 starting uni/please help. “While there are always exceptions to rules, a good rule to remember is that dating someone more than 10 years older will present challenges now or later that add to the preexisting challenges any relationship has,” he says. This is a serious question and kind of embarrassing, but hopefully I get some advice on here. There's no harm in trying if both parties are game. The existing Open Comments threads will continue to exist for those who do not subscribe to Independent Premium. 9 1 2 219. Ad Choices. I would say 80% of guys I've been with have been at least 10 years older than me and age was never an issue. But, he’s SO much more … After a one-year relationship, I've fallen in love with a man who is 10 years younger. Create a commenting name to join the debate, There are no Independent Premium comments yet - be the first to add your thoughts, There are no comments yet - be the first to add your thoughts. Ten years is not too much. How Big of an Age Gap Is Too Big in Relationships? I am aware there are possibilities where two people can successfully date with an age gap of … Male. show 10 more Is the age difference too much? I wouldn’t have guessed, I told him. Nothing is black & white — and I don’t feel like I can fairly judge a couple with a 10 year age gap that’s been together forever and truly love one another. We continued to date until, eventually, our lifestyles proved drastically different. … And with my 'boyfriend' i dont feel any age difference, we have our moments of being completely immature, and other times we have moments of being an old couple. Your first child … Specifically, four years and four months older, which was the average "ideal" age gap as reported by a survey of 2,000 adults. If both people are mature, and responsible and open, then of course it could work. A 20-Year Age Gap Makes No Difference. All rights reserved. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement (updated as of 1/1/21) and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement (updated as of 1/1/21) and Your California Privacy Rights. The result is: The age difference between the two persons is 4 years, 4 months, 12 days. “It's because she is 20 years older than me that a lot of people say, 'this relationship can't be tenable, it can't be possible. and love is not measure by years but by moments! Going to uni age 20? Would he be thinking about children already? Glamour may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. Are you sure you want to mark this comment as inappropriate? reply #3. kallee6393. Then he excused himself to the go to the bathroom while I sat wondering what our relationship age gap meant: Would he want to move faster in a relationship? I continued to find myself smitten, gushing to my mom about him, telling her that 13 years wasn’t that big of an age difference because we got along so well and it just didn’t matter. How similar are you? Is 10 years too much of an age gap when it comes to dating someone? I am finding out that many men my age are not interested in women 30 and up. age difference? The naysayer's say no. “You can see varied cultural references, disapproval from family and friends, and perhaps community disapproval, as well,” says Rachel Sussman, a licensed marriage and family therapist in New York. Nonetheless, in 2017 the concept of dating someone significantly older, or younger, than you still raises a few eyebrows. And you can expect a similar reaction if she’s much older than you, too. I felt an immediate spark, and after we exchanged numbers, we planned our first date without ever bringing up our ages. '”, Read our full mailing list consent terms here. A relationship age gap bigger than 10 years often comes with its own set of issues. People say love is blind, but research says your age gap can determine the longevity of your relationship. “I’m 25,” I said, trying to seem proud of the number even though I’d just celebrated this birthday with a bit of dread about growing up. ... “I remember thinking we have so many things in common, but the age difference could be problematic. Please continue to respect all commenters and create constructive debates. He nodded in surprise and didn’t offer his age until I asked for it. when i was 16 i was with a 19 year old. How much of an age difference is too much? the heart knows no age! Male. Nope. 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