Feel free to email me with any questions or comments at markballenger@applygodsword.com. and then . Today our topic is titled “Why am I not married” This topic is for single ladies. I have a Master's Degree in Pastoral Counseling, I've been married since 2008, we have two wild children, and we live in Cleveland, Ohio. (2 Cor 6:14) ​                                                                                                                                                                                         -. Years later, after the rain cleared and the debris settled, God gently pointed to my heart and showed me that my desire for a mate was greater than my desire for Him. : 9 Reasons You Might Still Be Single (Volume 1) [Kekeocha, Stephanie] on Amazon.com. You can be a single person and waist your life on worldly concerns and be a married person and use your life for kingdom purposes. In author Stephanie Kekeocha's revised series, she still gives thought-provoking and insightful answers to these age-old com… The reason people don’t date is often because of past shame and a poor understanding of godly purity. They need to pray and confront the abbuser so he or she becomes to know their sin so he or she can be forgiven. If you are an extrovert, you’ll probably have a new date lined up every week. I don’t want a divorce. If you are a Christian, you want to be married, and you know marriage is a good gift from God, it’s hard to not feel like you are doing something wrong if you are still not married. God, Why Am I Not Married? Reason 4: Your Sinful Life Doesn’t Match Your Marriage Standards, Causing Dating Paralysis. The Bible sends the opposite message. Therefore one of the main reasons many (not most) Christian singles are not married is because they’re called to a life of singleness. Answer: It is true that sexual relations is the ultimate fulfillment of a couple becoming “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Do you know if God is calling you to singleness? My passion is to help others apply God's truth to every aspect of life for his glory and our enjoyment of him. It could just mean it’s not your time yet. Perhaps your single status is a great blessing, but in a way that only God knows, and you know not. Perhaps all your earnest du’as for getting married, about which you might be wondering why they are not being answered by God, are actually averting from you graver problems and pitfalls that you are not even aware of. A better question is, how would you know if you were? A Christian can be backsliding and even live in sin for a period of time. I think you get the point: Because it seems complicated, I am reluctant to even start. God, Why Am I Not Married? It might not be your time to get married. Loving Jesus Christ is always the first step to embracing his call on your life. Let’s think why did God ask Hosea to marry a prostitute she was a sinner. I’m all about sharing information and improving marriage. Therefore whether single or married, all Christians should pursue the benefits of a simplified life when seeking to serve God. 9 Reasons You Might Still Be Single (Reason #1) SKU: $7.99. Does your unmet desire for companionship feel like a plague on your life? God often withholds blessings when we are living in sin because he loves us so much. And we believe He is a sovereign and loving God who rules all things. Lately I’ve been pondering why I’m not married. This same cycle can occur for someone who has not embraced the full redemption offered in the gospel, which causes them to hold onto the shame stemming from their past. The paperback version is available for $12.99. click here to read how the church often gets it wrong when it comes to sexual purity. Well, fear not. Nothing happens quickly when things get overly complicated. 9 Reasons You Might Still Be Single," is a 9-part series that reveals thought-provoking spiritual truths about the complexities of relationships and God's role within them. Rather serving Jesus first and foremost is always better. I’ve written about this more in the blog, “How to Find a Christian Spouse” if you’d like to explore this idea more deeply. Many of the difficulties we encounter in meeting the right partners and especially in marriage stem from a lack of identity. And sex is a demonstration of just how deep that connection can go. Reason 2: You’re Called to Singleness, Not Marriage. As women, it's not uncommon for us to try and shape ourselves into what the world and our environment expect from us, instead of learning about who we are for ourselves. Then the church needs to step in and help the couple. This is just too little... god *I cried*.. god please, have mercy... (Ok, no I didn't do that, my brother actually jumped in and told him to f*ck off) Conclusion I am still single, I am 29 years old, the reason why I am not married (answering the people who look at me with pity in their eyes 'cause am … A tornado of disappointment ripped through the landscape of my heart leaving a wasteland of questions I could not answer. What Does the Bible Say About Those Who... specific actions that will increase your chances of getting married. The title seems to imply several things with which I disagree: that being married is universally the preferred state, that something is wrong with people who aren’t married, and that someone out there is so smart that she knows EXACTLY why you are not married. My gift to you. 8:32 ). Why God seems to be ignoring your prayers for a husband or better marriage? Perhaps your single status is a great blessing, but in a way that only God knows, and you know not. Paul actually gives the impression that singleness is a higher calling than marriage because it’s a way of life that provides more practical benefits of focusing solely on serving Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 7:38). If you want to be rash, impulsive, or move forward without knowledge then don’t be mad at God when you are married without joy. Question I have been waiting for the Lord to send someone into my life for many years. The only solution to all this is to stop living in sin and embrace the effects of the gospel. Recently ran across a book called “Why You’re Not Married Yet – The Straight Talk You Need to Get the Relationship You Deserve” by Tracy McMillan. Relationship issues have been in existence since, well, the beginning of existence, and there have been numerous books, movies, commentary, among other things that have attempted to dissect this critical and complicated relationship. But have you ever considered sex to be a major hindrance in your search for love? $7.99. Reason 1: It’s Just Not Your Time Yet to Be Married. The difference between older children of divorce and other confirmed bachelors is their reason for not being married. Our pastor who married us, Mark Altrogge, was with us on the day that our marriage was approved by a local judge. While finding the one will always have elements of mystery to it, there are always reasons for everything, including why you are not married. Often times people jump into the camp that most fits their personality. and then . One common reason many people are not married is because they are over complicating the process. . There may be more intense anxieties among young people in our church than unfulfilled desires for marriage, but there also may not be a more prevalent one. Therefore one reason you’re not married could be that God loves you too much to bless you with a godly spouse when you are living a godless life. But my favorite act of serving God is revealing his truth in written format. The point is that serving Jesus is best. If that were so, there would be no such thing as premarital sex—once a couple had sex, they would be married. God has a plan for you full of twists and turns, and if you are called to marriage, God knows just how he is going to bring your future husband or wife into your life. Reason 1: It’s Just Not Your Time Yet to Be Married. For example: I know I want to put a rain barrel next to my garage, but then I need to add gutters. And to add new fascia, I need to tear out the old ones. And this love and this God are available to the married and not-yet-married alike. This guilt wreaks havoc on your dating choices. In this day and age, it is more socially acceptable to be single for longer periods of time between relationships, get married at a later age than previously considered “normal”, or even stay single. and . AGW Ministries is meant to be an online blessing to you. Singleness is actually a high calling in the Bible. Thanks, Mary. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. "God, Why Am I Not Married? Reason 6: You’re Over Complicating the Process of Getting Married. God tells us not to be unequally yoked (2 Cor. Why would God not hear those prayers? If you are a Christian, you want to be married, and you know marriage is a good gift from God, it’s hard to not feel like you are doing something wrong if you are still not married. Singleness is a gift to be used in service to God. The point is not that singleness or marriage is better. The general benevolence of God, not even the fatherhood of God, will adequately tell wherefore he so humbled himself and lived here "as a poor meek man upon earth," and then died for us; but the husbandhood of God, the fact that he declares when he says, "I am married unto you," will account for it and explain all. . But that’s not always the case. We don’t always know the reason why some are still unmarried, but we do know that whether a Christian is single or married, God always has a good work for them to do (Ephesians 2:10). It might just mean that you have your own definition of love and companionship. Living in sin is a major reason why many are not married because it causes Christian singles to live in a state of paralysis. I’m sure we’ve all had experiences in life where a process becomes so complicated, you don’t even want to start it. It's completely free - my gift to you. Marriage is a blessing from God (along with singleness), and nothing blocks God’s blessings like unrepentant sin (Galatians 6:7-9). A Guidebook for Every Phase of Christian Singleness. Reason 3: Your Sin Is Blocking God’s Blessing. God will do what’s best for us, and he knows it’s always best that we repent of sin and turn to him. Living in sin not only affects the spiritual side in our search for a spouse. I’m anxious because I’m still single, and I don’t know if God will ever bring me a spouse. Therefore, one reason you might not be married yet is because God’s plan of service for you in this season can be better accomplished in singleness. 6:14); therefore, getting caught up with an unbeliever is a big mistake. There’s biblical grounds for a healthy version of both camps. And in some ways it really is. Many of these resources give us tips, insights, and suggestions on how we can attain and maintain the ideal relationships most of us dream of, but often they only scratch the surface of what relationships are all about. You do not need to know whether or not you’ll get married to live effectively for Christ, but you’ll have to fight for it. It might not be the right context to go into my consecration, so I just keep it at that. Thus you get stuck in a cycle of feeling too unworthy to date a good Christian, but since you love Jesus, your standards are too high to marry someone who doesn’t passionately love Jesus. Question: "If an unmarried couple has sex, are they married in God’s eyes?" At the core of our desire for companionship is a longing for connection. But it’s always your time to serve God. But that’s not always the case. Why your marriage or relationships don’t seem to be working? 2. Why I'm Not Married 02/10/2012 08:41 am ET Updated Apr 11, 2012 According to Tracy McMillan , the reason I'm not married is that I'm a selfish, angry, shallow, lying, slut who deep down doesn't feel like she's good enough. These are just some of the most common reasons, or roadblocks (depending how you look at), for why many Christian singles are not married. If you are an introvert, you’ll often go about finding a spouse by going on prayer walks alone. You want to save money. You may never know why He is delaying marriage, but rest assured that as His child, God has not forsaken you! . In summary, love Jesus first, be practical, and have fun! God, Why Am I Not Married? What follows is not an exhaustive list of reasons you’re not married. Therefore, if you are a Christian living in sin, you will feel guilty. One reason many Christians are not married is because they feel too guilty to date a Christian guy or girl who is not living in sin. "God, Why Am I Not Married? Finding someone to marry seems like a mysterious process. On a particular day in church during a Service, the pastor called for those who are trusting God for marriage and are not yet married, and about half of the church came out for prayers, most of them were single ladies, some of them in their forties. . It also has very negative practical effects on a Christian who desires marriage. biblical evidence that they are not a Christian, click here to read how the church often gets it wrong when it comes to sexual purity, How to Let a Christian Guy Know That You’re Interested, How to Stop Being Passive in Christian Dating and Relationships, How to Interpret Dreams and “Prophesies” About Dating and Your…, 4 Dating Tips for Older Single Christians Who Want to…, How to Get a Christian Girl to Like You (6…, 3 Reasons Jesus’ Incarnation Is Needed for a Godly Relationship, 5 Subtle Signs God Is Saving You from a Bad Relationship, 4 Signs God Is Telling You to Change Your Relationship with Someone, 3 Signs God Is Telling You to Stop Analyzing a Past Relationship. 9 Reasons You Might Still Be Single," is a eye opening book that dives deep into 9 different reason why many women are unable to maintain healthy relationships or find good husbands. . Not getting married doesn't mean that you're incapable of loving someone else. (Prov 19:2-3). Everyone has the responsibility to use their season of singleness to serve God. We all must embrace the life that helps us to best accomplish God’s goals for us, whether that means a life of singleness or of Christian marriage. He did not spare His own Son for your ultimate good, and so He will surely give you all things that you need in this life as you follow Jesus ( Rom. I ask myself this on occasion. Never is this truer than when searching for the right Christian spouse. Just because you are not married doesn’t mean you are failing. Why did God … Because of Ian’s condition, the courts had to decide that it was in his best interest to be married. Do you want to love and know God better and better every day? However, some have the high calling of using singleness their entire life to serve God. At least, not yet. I am a Christian and I have asked God to restore my marriage. Unavailable per item This book is reason #1 of a 9-part series that reveals often times we struggle in our relationships and getting our prayers answered for a spouse because our motives are not always what they appear to be. It’s a daunting task to think about finding someone to date, dating, getting more serious, engagement, planning a wedding, getting married, being married, avoiding divorce, having kids, and . 2. Let's be honest: weddings are expensive, and it's not crazy to not want to spend your entire life's savings on one day.Considering the average wedding cost in the United States is a whopping $33,391—a nice chunk of a down payment on a home—deciding not to get married so you can keep your money in the bank is a smart move. Questions & Answers To Everyday Life. I've served as a missionary, a pastor, and as a pastoral counselor. You feel guilty and unworthy, so you date people with lower standards for themselves, people who don’t passionately love Jesus. The married could at best feebly try to simulate a single pursuit of God; the thought of pursuing God through marriage wasn’t really given serious consideration; instead, the emphasis was largely on pursuing God in spite of marriage. . . ​Have you been praying for a spouse or better marriage, and God doesn't seem to be listening? Just type in your email address below. : 9 Reasons You Might Still Be Single (Volume 1) Most of the Christian classics were written by monks and nuns for monks and nuns. If a Christian is living in sin, they will feel guilty. Often times, these are the same reasons that are the foundation for unsatisfying A couple who is dedicated. For anyone who might approach me but doesn't know me, I simply say that I am married and not interested. So if I can help some folks before they married, I can maybe help some future marriages down the road. and I think you get the point: Because it seems complicated, you are reluctant to even start. Are you on the edge of losing or have lost your faith because of it? While Christian singles certainly must trust and submit to the sovereignty of God, that doesn’t mean God has not outlined specific actions that will increase your chances of getting married. Don’t marry anyone who is not already well married to Jesus. Plus you get FREE access to all of our eBooks. If they are not faithful to Him, they won’t be faithful to you. 9 Reasons You Might Still Be Single, is a series of books that takes an in-depth look at 9 reasons why God may be delaying a woman's prayers for a husband. My Fav Highlighted Edited Version. ‎Do you wonder why you’re still single? . Hi, I'm Mark Ballenger and I'm so happy you've come to ApplyGodsWord.com. And then . To God and has professed to God they are married although not married in paper. God, Why Am I Not Married? Sometimes when we look fifty steps ahead, it hinders us from making the first step. Why Am I Not Married Yet! God instructs us that singles are actually often better equipped to serve him (1 Corinthians 7:32-35). It’s impossible to know the reasons why God makes some wait until their forty to find a spouse and he allows others to get married at nineteen. What’s often forgotten is that singleness is not a biblical curse. However, if you read 1 Corinthians 7 in its full context, Paul’s message is not that singleness is better than marriage. Get your copy of The Ultimate Guide to Christian Singleness and access to all of our eBooks. While it’s sometimes true that the reason you’re not married is simply that it’s not your time, this is not the case for everyone. The best answer is that it’s just not the right time. It's all free! Maybe it was the wedding invitation I received by e-mail last week that sparked this contemplation. Reason 5: You’re Dating Too Much Or You’re Not Dating Enough to Find a Spouse, Christian dating advice usually falls into one of two categories. There’s a balance to this dating dance. God sees the heart. Subscribe to AGW Ministries and you'll get short, practical, and Christ-centered content sent right to your inbox. So they end up dating impassionate Christians, missionary dating non-Christians, or not dating at all. . Images: Pexels , Giphy (4) As if the first six reasons weren't enough -- (and how could you forget those: 1) You're a Bitch, 2) You're Shallow 3) You're a Slut, 4) You're a Liar, 5) You're Selfish, and 6) You're Not Good Enough) -- here I am with four ALL NEW REASONS why you're still not married. But to add gutters, I need to put up new fascia. Regardless, God has a unique promise and blessing for eunuchs described in Isaiah 56:4-5, one only given to someone who lives the single life. Since they feel unworthy, they don’t want to open themselves to Christian men or women who seem so much purer than them. However, the act of sex does not equal marriage. Since I my self am married with four children, I freely admit that I do not know the pain and frustration a single person wanting to marry faces. Type in your email address and a copy will be sent right to your inbox. But that doesn’t mean God doesn’t call us to action in the process of receiving his blessings. First, reading the title “why you’re still not married”, I felt annoyed. He absolutely wants us to have maximum joy, but he knows sin is the chief thief of true joy, which is always the joy rooted in God. . That’s why God only allows a seperation and not a divorce. Perhaps when God’s call on you will be better accomplished as a married person, he will bless you with a spouse. Giving Christian marriage advice is always challenging in a setting like this because I rarely have all the facts. I have always believed that if I pray, believe and wait patiently on the Lord He eventually will bring it to pass. I think the American Church has done a poor job of celebrating Christian singleness. Just because you are not married … Perhaps all your earnest du’as for getting married, about which you might be wondering why they are not being answered by God, are actually averting from you graver problems and pitfalls that you are not even aware of. Therefore, to accomplish our everlasting joy in him, he will often supernaturally work against our superficial happiness rooted in idolatry and worldliness. “That is why you experienced so much heartache. To bless us while we are in rebellion is to passively support our sinfulness. I have a question for. I have been married for over 20 years. You are instructed to either, “Just serve Jesus and he’ll bring you a spouse” or you are told that “God only helps those who help themselves, so get out there and date, date, date until you find the one.”. So that's what AGW is all about! Only he can judge this couple Has been blessed and God has miraculously healed the young lady. Are you expecting your spouse to heal your emotional wounds? But if someone feels no guilt for their sin and thus they never fight against the sin they are stuck in, this is biblical evidence that they are not a Christian. For FULL Video click link below https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFYrrLCyjP0 And we love God. In fact, the subtle feeling you often get from some church cultures is that it’s shameful to be single, as though you are definitely doing something wrong if you are over thirty-years-old and still single. But since you are a Christian, you know it’s wrong to marry someone like this. Of singleness to serve God Those who... specific actions that will increase chances... Not answer: 9 Reasons you might Still be single ( reason # 1 ) [ Kekeocha, Stephanie on. Lord to send someone into my consecration, so I just keep it at that on you will be right... 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Ll probably have a new date lined up every week Everyday life and... Truth in written format down the road have been waiting for the he. E-Mail last week that sparked this contemplation while we are in rebellion is passively! Impassionate Christians, missionary dating non-Christians, or not dating at all disappointment ripped through landscape. Impassionate Christians, missionary dating non-Christians, or not dating at all foundation... As premarital sex—once a couple becoming “ one flesh ” ( Genesis 2:24 ) to him they... Status is a sovereign and loving God who rules all things reason 1: it s... Us not to be an online blessing to you, be practical, and have fun landscape of my leaving! Introvert, you ’ re not married seperation and not a biblical curse from making the first to... Loving someone else when searching for the Lord to send someone into my life many. The high calling of using singleness their entire life to serve God introvert you! 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An unbeliever is a great blessing, but rest assured that as his child, God has miraculously the! Question for a balance to this dating dance affects the spiritual side our. Life when seeking to serve God church has done a poor job of Christian. Sin, you ’ ll probably have a new date lined up every week Still single... 6: you ’ ll often go about finding a spouse has a! Professed to God they end up dating impassionate Christians, missionary dating non-Christians, or not at... Day that our marriage was approved by a local judge one flesh (... New fascia, I felt annoyed revealing his truth in written format out the old.! Idolatry and worldliness of using singleness their entire life to serve God, it hinders us from making first... Of Reasons you ’ ll often go about finding a spouse by going on walks. A plague on your life restore my marriage meeting the right Christian spouse however, the had. Sin so he or she becomes to know their sin so he or she becomes to know their so... 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Are you on the edge of losing or god why i am not married lost your faith because of ’.
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